This is a pic of me and my dog Storm during my second year teaching. Nearly 5 years ago, I’m holding my sweet little puppy - Her sister pup behind me is owned by my old roomie. I held each of those dogs the day they were born, the benefits of having a mother who owned an unfixed female dachshund.
My dog went missing almost a week ago and it’s fucking destroying me inside. I’ve made posters and plastered the neighborhood and the surrounding areas. I’ve made craigslist postings. I’ve joined several local facebook groups and put the same message out. Each day after work I go to the spca lost dog area, the spca animal hospital, and the county shelter. Every time I drive out and search, calling her name, get out and walk the canal or smaller streets, and don’t find her… it just crushes me.
A lot of people have been incredibly supportive. I even saw a lost ad on craigslist today that matched up with a found ad, and hooked that guy up so he could go get his dog. He called, so thankful, and offered to help me find my pup.
I keep wondering what all I need to do extra to get her back. I don’t know how to properly feel because I have no way of knowing if she’s alive, hurt, or dead. I’m in emotional limbo with the grieving process and it’s really fucking me up inside. When I do feel strong emotions, they feel like they’re not a part of me. Strange moments of arousal, or being amused - they’re these phantom-limb type sensations that are happening but not. It’s difficult to explain. Right now I feel kind of numb, which is better than sobbing I guess.
I’ve gone out early before work, after work, and at 1 in the morning, hoping to spread my searches enough so that she’ll hear me, catch my scent, or just something. Instead all my efforts do is leave me feeling hopeless, empty, or utterly shattered. I have cried more in the last 6 days than I have in the previous 10 years of my life.
I would give anything to have her back.